


A Sign Of His Personal Growth

by afteriwake



Series: A Thousand Suns [5]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 10:44:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He needed to know why they were more than allies and yet weren't really friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Sign Of His Personal Growth

  
_When you were standing in the wake of devastation  
When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown  
And with the cataclysm raining down  
Insides crying, "Save me now"  
You were there impossibly alone_   
Linkin Park, “Iridescent”   


He had dreams. He was sure they all did. They had been through so much, in different ways, in different places. His dreams weren't all about fighting, though. He had dreams of running across the desert with Los Noches staying a speck in the distance. He dreamed of Nel, both as a child and as an adult. He dreamed of many things, but a few dreams haunted him horribly.

Like dreaming of Hinamori, of watching Toshiro stab her in the chest as he screamed his head off. Like dreaming of Aizen and that horrific form he had, the mouths on his wings. Like dreaming of watching him take down all those shinigami and Vizard. Of watching as, one by one, he was left on his own and mocked, told to run. If his father hadn't snapped him out of it...

And some nights, he dreamed of voices he hadn't heard in a long time. Rukia's confident, clear voice, and Renji's cocky almost growl. Byakuya's softly spoken words and Toshiro's grumpy protests. Matsumoto's unique lilt and Yumichika and Ikkaku's good-natured arguments. He heard them, and he missed them. But he knew that, until he got his powers back, they would be voices only. He would never see them again otherwise.

He still had people, though. Some he loved, like his sisters and even his father, who dropped the goofy old man act more now that Ichigo knew what he really was. He hadn't told him the whole story yet, and Ichigo would wait patiently until the proper time and place arrived. He just hoped it wasn't much longer, because who knew what would happen day-to-day.

Some he had warm friendly feelings for, like Orihime and Tatsuki. Many things in his life made him feel useless, but every time he saw Orihime smile at him or had Tatsuki whack him in the back of his head he remembered that he had saved them, that they were here, safe and sound, because of him. And that made things better sometimes.

And then there was Chad, who was in his corner, trying to help him get his powers back. Gratitude didn't cover what he felt. They'd had a deep bond for a long time, would give up their lives for each other without a moment's hesitation, and it had been this way long before Hueco Mundo, long before Soul Society, long before Ichigo had become a substitute shinigami. Of all of his friends, he was the one who understood him the most.

And then...there was Ishida. They were friends, of a sort. They were civil to each other in public, unless someone confused Ishida with him or compared them, and then Ishida's tranquil fury showed itself. The way he took on that gang at the school, well, that was a normal occurance when Ishida could get away with it. He was used to it now. And every once in a while they would argue, about the stupidest stuff. But...he would give his life for Ishida. He didn't know if Ishida felt the same, but there was the bare truth, on his part, at least.

He hadn't gone to the hospital to see him much. Once, when his father had told him what happened, once when Orihime dragged him along, and then tonight. And each time, there was stony silence on both sides. He was going to give up after tonight. Perhaps they would never be real friends, just allies with a more or less common goal: protect those they loved. With a sigh, he lowered his head in his hands, and waited for Ishida to do something, anything. Say _something_ , even if it was just to tell him to leave.

“Why do you bother to come here?”

Ichigo lifted his head up and shrugged slightly. “I just kind of...have to.”

“Why? So you can feel guilty and then show me how guilty you look?”

Ichigo got angry and prepared to snap something at him, but paused. And thought, and then with another sigh, he nodded. “Something like that, I guess.”

The disdainful look that he usually wore asserted itself with full force. “I don't need your pity,” he spat out.

“I don't pity you,” Ichigo said, leaning back in the chair. “Yeah, you almost got killed and I couldn't stop it. I hate that, especially if whoever did it did it to hurt me and you just got caught up in it. But I don't pity you.”

The disdainful look was replaced by one that was more confused than anything else. “So, you're here because you're guilty.”

“I'm here because I thought we were friends,” he said quietly. “After everything...I thought we'd moved past...this.” He waved his hand in the space between them. “Acting like we hate each other. Do we only give a crap about each other when we're rescuing a friend of ours?”

“You aren't my friend,” he said quietly. “I don't really have any friends.”

“That's bullshit!” Ichigo said, raising his voice. “Orihime comes by at least three times a week and Tatsuki is here every frigging day. You _do_ have friends, and if you'd get past whatever your issue is with me I'd be your friend too.” He looked at the other young man. “This goes beyond you hating shinigami because of what they did to your grandfather. What is your personal issue with _me_?”

“You got the girl!” Ishida said, raising his own voice. “You were the one to rescue Kuchiki-san, and you rescued Inoue-kun. You're the hero. I'm just the helper.” Ichigo looked at him, his jaw hanging slightly. And then he closed it, and the corner of his mouth twitched. “What?” he asked, confusion creeping on his face again.

“I rescued them because they're my friends, not because I like them like _that_!” Ichigo said with a grin, before he started cracking up. “I wouldn't be surprised if Renji's already started making a move on Rukia, not that she'd accept it, or that her brother would. And I know how Orihime feels about me. I'm just...I don't want a girlfriend right now.” He paused for a moment. “I should probably tell her soon. She deserves to be happy with someone who wants to be with her.”

This time it was Ishida's jaw that was hanging. “Really? And you're sure you're not...?” He left it hanging.

“What? No!” He shook his head, and then stopped. “I thought you might be, though.”

“What?” Ishida sputtered out. “Why on earth would you think _that_?”

“You like to sew.”

“And?”

“You like to sew _girly stuff_.”

Ishida shook his head. “It's easier. I mean, I could probably do a three piece uit and make the tie to go with it, but it would take too long. Making a dress or fixing a stuffed animlal to make a woman happy makes me feel better, anyway.”

“I never thought about it that way,” Ichigo said, leaning back in the chair. “So why don't you make anything for Orihime?”

“What?”

“You _like_ her like her, right? I'm sure if you start making her stuff, show her you're interested in her, that you really care about her, maybe she'll turn her attention to you.”

“How did you know I liked her like that?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. “Did Arisawa-san tell you?”

Ichigo shook his head. “I pay attention. You treat her differently than you treat every other female. I know there are some how are interested in you, but you ignore them for her.” He grinned again. “It's kind of obvious.”

“Too bad she'll never notice,” he grumbled.

“Hey, if you want me to go let her down easy, I will. Maybe it'll give you a fighting chance,” he said.

“You would actually do that for me?” he asked, surprised.

“She's my friend, too. It's not fair that I keep stringing her along, even if it is unintentional. And besides, I think she could be happy with you, if she'd just stop thinking of me like that.”

“I didn't realize you could be so...nice,” Ishida said.

“Yeah, well, don't tell everyone that,” he said, turning a slight shade of red. “I have an image.”

Ishida's mouth quirked up in a small smile. “Then I'll keep your secret...Kurosaki-san.”

Ichigo grinned. “That's a good first step, Ishida-san.”

“Don't expect me to let you call me by my first name any time soon though,” he said, lifting up his good arm and pointing at Ichigo, who raised his hands.

“I won't. I promise.” Ichigo leaned forward again. “After I get in some training I'll go talk to Orihime..”

“You're serious about getting your powers back,” he said.

Ichigo nodded. “Yeah. I need them. I need to protect people.”

Ishida nodded slowly. “It's who you are. A hero.”

“Hey, you're a hero, too. You saved Orihime as well. It wasn't just me.” He looked at him. “She'll realize that soon enough.”

“I hope so,” Ishida said. And then he yawned. “I'm more tired than I thought.”

“I'll let you get some sleep then,” Ichigo said, standing up. “Mind if I come back again?”

The was a brief pause. “No, I don't mind,” he replied.

“Okay, then. See you later.” And with that, he walked out the door, satisfied that he did, indeed, have a friend in Ishida. And that was a nice feeling.


End file.
